I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
