It's like God shit irony all over that family
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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