you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Panties = found
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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