I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Still dying that you shit outside
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
