maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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