every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
ttyl tear gas
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize