cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
