O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
