This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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