why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
