They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize