it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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