You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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