happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
