Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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