Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
