we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm sobbing to NWA
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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