Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
All the doctor said was why
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
