ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dicks are not precious.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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