I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
