I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize