I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
