VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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