There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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