Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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