then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize