i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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