belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
