and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize