margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
