Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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