I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
