I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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