Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
