i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
