what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
try to milk me bitch
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