so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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