no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Those nachos came to me in a dream
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
