Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
