You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
