we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
