So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just cropdusted the office
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
