i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
