Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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