i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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