I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
