Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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