I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
