You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
