We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
