Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
