am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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