The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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