She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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