they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
