My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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