He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
