Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
