If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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