do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Is Oprah even human
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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