i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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