yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
