i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
