Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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