Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Text me some of your sweat
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
