please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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