is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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