South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You dont lie about slip and slides
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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