Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
you made out with another girl for some wings
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
