my room smells like sperm. sweet.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Even the bartender felt bad for me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just puked most of my soul out..
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