Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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