Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
