I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
