did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
