So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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